Do ya ever have one of those moments...

when you just cry and feel sorry for yourself?
I'm like that this afternoon. I don't know if it's the new medication I'm on for weight loss that is making me all moody or TOM or that Doug's been working late every night this week or what but I was shooting this video of Caleb a little while ago and played it back and it dawned on me - Caleb still isn't talking near as much as he should for a child his age (he's almost 2.5).
Granted, today he's sick. And he's rarely sick so when he gets sick, it's a nightmare.. He doesn't eat, he doesn't do much of anything but be clingy. I'm holding him right now as I write this.
Regardless, even on his BEST day, Caleb says maybe 2-3 new words and 5-10 others that he knows. And those days are few and far between. Yesterday was a good day. He said "School" and "Tent" for the first time.
But he's still not putting words together and I still don't feel like the words he does say are said at the appropriate times.. or that he even knows what they mean. KWIM? And half the time he won't say a word when you ask him to. His therapist will ask him to say a word in order to get a toy or cookie and instead of doing it he tries to yank the item out of her hand and when that doesn't work, he throws a fit or moves on to something else, like he doesn't care.
You'll see in this video, I can't even get him to say his ABC's or 123's which is one of the things he normally does quite consistently.

Around the age of two I finally accepted that he wasn't talking much but still had hope that because my husband was a late talker, it would be okay. Well, my husband was talking in sentences by 2.5 and here we are two weeks from Caleb being 2.5 and he's still the same. So now I'm very worried and not "okay" with it anymore.
Then this morning I got news that the State sponsored Preschool program we had hopes of putting him in was only offered in my area at the same location the "at risk" high school kids attend. Well, Doug and I both agree we will absolutely NOT take him there. There is way too high a risk that something bad could happen while he is there. I won't go into details but that is just not a good place for him to be for any length of time.
So once Caleb turns three he is done with that program unless he continues on and goes to that Preschool. Meaning, no more speech therapy.
So we either have to take him there or he's out of the program. He can later rejoin if we change our minds or move to another area, etc but it would be very hard to get services started again because kids that are already in the program get first priority. Caleb had already been in the program almost a year before we could even get a Speech Therapist for him because of a shortage.

Anyway, I know this is supposed to be a SCRAPBOOKING blog but I just had to get this off my chest. I know most of my friends that read this blog are Christians and if you are the praying type, please pray for Caleb. It may not be a big deal to you but it's a huge thing to my husband and I that he still isn't talking. We're worried about him.
(and I just finished reading The Rescue by Nicolas Sparks which just stirred up even more worry in me.. thanks alot JB! LOL, just kidding, girl)

And now, here is that short video I took of Caleb... You'll see why I'm a little frustrated. He's darn cute in it but he won't say a word...